I thought I was okay...

I thought I was okay,
I told myself that I'd be okay...
But the truth is, I was just lying, trying to cover up my hurt.
I sit here and wait,
but what am I waiting for?
Not even I know...
I try not to cry,
try not to show my pain,
but deep down inside i'm broken...
The sad this is,
I was never even your's...
No one understands,
but I don't expect them too,
I dont expect anyone too,
not even myself.
I think of all of the memories we had,
I got butterfiles whenever I saw you,
I got so nervous,
my heartbeat quickened,
whenever I saw that you were calling me I squealed in delight...
What happened?
I regret so much,
I was so stupid...
but how can you possibly blame this all on me?
How can you say you don't have time for me?
I wish I didn't care...
but no matter how hard I try,
there will always be a part of me that will...
Some days I don't even notice the pain,
its become a normal part of my life.
I don't know what to do anymore...
I've tried and tried, but I just keeping pushing you away.
I fall apart every time I think of you,
but no one seems to care,
not even you...